The thought that for everything you give in this world you will always get something in return, something that is not within you, loses you your true awareness of the universe and more importantly of your own identity. You are aware of this inconsistency and yet you blame your body and your earthly existence for this oversight. You displace your guilt for this lack of foresight from your spirit to your to your body and your earthly existence. Your body does nothing that is not instructed and nothing in your material world happens that your spirit has not granted permission. Deferring guilt does not deal with it, accepting your role in your own circumstances will atone and allow your progress. May your day be filled with progress my friend